Hi Everyone,
I got a lot of views on my last blog post featuring a transcript for an all-ages Harley Quinn #1. If you want to read it please check out this link -
HQ#1.
Harley Quinn #3 is also now available to read at this link.
Thank you to Jimmy Palmiotti for re-tweeting it! :D
This issue features a ball at Wayne Manor and a hidden camera show with the Creeper.
Page 1
Joker has hit hard
times and is totally out of cash. He is trying to think of a way to sort out
his money problems. When Harley comes by sends her out to make some money!
1 – Joker is taking
bills out of his and Harley’s mailbox.
In caption: Harley Quinn and the Joker’s top secret hideout.
Joker: No love letters. No fan mail. No party invites. Just a
load of boring bills.
2 – Joker throwing
bills over his shoulder.
Joker: It’s not like I can rob a bank every time I get the
post. I’ll run out of banks, ha!
3 – Joker slumping
down on an old armchair.
Joker: What do I do?
4 – Harley comes up
behind the chair.
Harley: Hiya puddin’!
5 – Joker with finger
in air, lightbulb overhead. Harley blowing a kiss at him. She is sitting on the
arm of the Joker’s chair.
Joker: Harley!
Page 2
1 – Harley grinning
at the Joker.
Harley: What’s happenin’ Mr. J?
Joker: We’ve ran out of cash again, sweet cheeks.
2 – Harley looking
surprised.
Harley: Oh no! But what about all of our nice things? We
love our nice things!
Joker: I know, I know.
3 – Harley has
bounced off of the chair, pointing at Bud and Lou.
Harley: And our babies! How are we going to afford to feed
our babies?
Joker: No one will be eating around here for a while.
4 – Zoom in on a
grinning Joker. Harley’s face close to his like he’s about to tell her a
secret.
Joker: Unless…
Harley: Unless what puddin’?
Page 3
1 – Joker waving her off.
Joker: No, no. It’s too much to ask.
Harley: Tell me, I’ll do anything for you.
2 – Joker playing
with one of Harley’s pompoms.
Joker: Well seeing as you’re so persistent... we need some
quick cash my dear and I think you’re just the gal to go get it.
Harley: Aww puddin’, you have faith in me.
3 - Joker giving
Harley a kiss on the cheek.
Joker: Of course I do!
Harley: Eek!
4 – Joker with hands
on Harley’s shoulders leading her to the door.
Joker: Now get outta here you little scamp and bring back
lots of money for our little love nest!
Harley: Ahhh!
5 – Joker slamming
the door on Harley.
Harley: Mr. J. wants come cash? Fine. I’ll bring back so
much money that he won’t know what to do with it all!
SFX of door closing: Bang!
6 – Harley looking
back at their lair.
Harley: I won’t let you down puddin’.
Page 4
1 – Harley walking
down the streets of Gotham.
In caption: As Harley paces the Gotham City streets she is
in deep thought.
Harley in thought: What can I do to get some money around
here?
2 – Harley thinking, in thought bubble a picture of her writing a top
selling book.
In caption which reflects
Harley’s thoughts: I could write a top selling book all about me. I’ll call it
‘Harley the Hench Girl’.
3 – Similar, also in a thought bubble, Harley signing her book at a
crowded book store. People in line all holding money in their hands.
In caption: I bet people
will queue up at book shops just for me to sign it and I’ll charge like $500
for my autograph. I’ll be rich in no time!
4 – Thought bubble gets darker, angry Poison Ivy, Joker and Catwoman
now inside it.
In caption: But I can’t
write a-tell-all book without talking about Mr. J., Ivy and Catwoman! They’ll
go nuts if I reveal their secrets.
5 – Thought bubble going pop. Harley’s phone ringing. Harley ready to
answer it.
SFX: Ring, ring. Ring,
ring.
Harley: Ooh a call!
6 – Caller I.D. shows a little photo of Catwoman.
Harley: It’s Kitty!
Page 5
1 – Harley answering the call. Split panel, Catwoman in other half
speaking on the phone.
Harley: Hello, you’ve
reached the princess of pumpkin town. Please leave a message after the beep,
beeeeeep.
Catwoman: Knock it off
Harl’, I know it’s you.
2 – Catwoman on the phone, maybe lying across the sofa, stroking a
kitty.
Catwoman: I was just
wondering if you are still going to Bruce Wayne’s masked ball tonight.
3 – Back to Harley who is perhaps face palming herself.
Harley: Oh I completely
forgot about that.
4 – Harley has another thought bubble idea which shows herself robbing
Wayne Manor.
Harley: Hey, Brucie Boy is
rich, right?
5 – Back to Catwoman who has little love hearts around her head to show
that she loves Bruce.
Catwoman: That’s right.
6 – Harley doing a little jump for joy.
Harley: Whoop! I knew I’d
sort out my money troubles somehow. I’ll be at yours soon and we can get going.
Buh-bye.
Page 6
1 – Catwoman sitting up right.
Catwoman in thought: Money
troubles? Oh great.
2 – Catwoman looking over her shoulder at her front door.
SFX: Knock, knock, knock.
Catwoman in thought: Here
she is now.
3 – Catwoman answering the door. Harley standing there in a ball gown
which is split black and red. Harley has a black mask on still but her blonde
hair is showing and is done up in a prom-like hairstyle.
Harley: I’m all done up
and ready to go paint the town!
Catwoman: Come inside,
I’ll go get changed.
4 – Harley looking in the mirror at her beautiful dress.
Harley in thought: My plan
is perfect. I can’t wait to take home bags full of Wayne’s dollar bills. My
Joker is gonna love it!
5 – Catwoman coming down the
stairs in an elegant ball gown and mask.
Catwoman: I’m ready.
Harley: Ooh you scrub up
nice, Kitty-Kat! Let’s go!
Page 7
1 – Harley and Catwoman arriving in a convertible car outside a lit up
Wayne Manor. Lots of cars already there.
In Caption: Outside Wayne
Manor.
Harley: Yipee! We’re here,
we’re here!
Catwoman: Yes we are. Now
we’ve just got to get inside.
2 – Harley and Catwoman standing at the door which Alfred Pennyworth has
opened. Catwoman showing him the invitation.
Alfred: Welcome back Miss
Kyle.
Catwoman: Thanks, Alfred.
3 – Alfred looking at Harley with suspicion.
Alfred: Are you Miss
Kyle’s plus one?
Harley: Yep, that’s me!
We’re just two peas in a pod. C’mon Kitty, let’s get goin’.
4 – Harley taking Catwoman by the arm and taking her inside excitedly. Catwoman
waving good-bye to Alfred who you can still see at the door.
5 – Zoom in on Alfred.
Alfred in thought: Oh I do
hope bringing Harley Quinn here was a good idea, Miss Kyle.
Page 8
1 – Harley pushing
past lots of Wayne’s guests.
Harley: Outta my way, chumps.
Random Rich Person: How rude.
2 – Catwoman catching
up with Harley.
Catwoman: You know, you can’t really behave like that here,
Harl’.
Harley: But I don’t care about these folks. I’m only lookin’
for one person.
3 – Catwoman speaking
directly to Harley.
Catwoman: Same here but you don’t see me pushing through
crowds.
Harley: That’s because it ain’t your style.
Catwoman: You got that right!
4 – Harley searching
the room, using her fingers in a circle as binoculars over her eyes.
Harley: I’m looking for the richest one in here.
Catwoman: And who is that?
5 – Harley pointing
to a portrait of Bruce Wayne.
Harley: Bruce Wayne of course!
6 – Catwoman with one
eyebrow raised.
Catwoman: What do you want with Bruce?
Page 9
1 – Harley putting
one finger over her lip so it looks like she is trying to keep herself quiet.
Catwoman looking fed up, her hands on her hips.
Harley: Wouldn’t you like to know.
Catwoman: Well seeing as I am the one who brought you here I
think you should tell me.
2 – Harley calling
Catwoman closer.
Harley: Okay, fine. But if I tell ya, you can’t tell nobody
else. Okay?
Catwoman: Okay.
3 – Harley whispering
in Catwoman’s ear.
Harley: I am here to marry Bruce Wayne.
4 – Catwoman pulling
away, laughing.
Catwoman: Hahahaha! You and Bruce? Together? Married? Girl,
you do make me laugh.
5 – Harley trying to
shh Catwoman.
Harley: Shhhh, I told ya to keep it quiet. My plan is going
to work. You’ll see.
6 – Catwoman wiping
away tears of laughter.
Catwoman: Aren’t you forgetting someone? What about your
boyfriend?
Page 10
1 – Harley handing
Catwoman a tissue.
Harley: Well what the Joker doesn’t know won’t kill him
right? He sent me out to get some money and that’s what I’m gonna do.
Catwoman: I still don’t understand why you’ve got to marry
Bruce. Can’t you just rob the guy instead?
2 – Harley shaking
her head.
Harley: No, no, no. There’s security guards all over the
place and I don’t want to end up back in Arkham. The only thing I’ll be
stealing tonight is Brucie’s heart and then his money will be all mine.
3 – Catwoman getting
a little bit more serious.
Catwoman: Okay, so let’s say you do actually marry Wayne.
Don’t you think he’ll notice when all of his funds start going missing?
4 – Harley not
looking worried.
Harley: I’ve got a plan for that too. I’ll just bump ol’Brucie
off. Then poor widow Harley will go back to her puddin’ and be rich for ever
more! Ha!
5 – Catwoman looking
stunned. Harley smiling.
Catwoman: …
Page 11
1 – Bruce Wayne pops
up and stands in between Catwoman and Harley.
Bruce: Good evening ladies.
Catwoman: Bruce!
2 – Bruce smiling.
Catwoman trying to direct Bruce over to someone else with her eyes and movement
of her head.
Bruce: Hello Miss Kyle. I hope you are having a lovely
evening.
Catwoman: Don’t you have guests over there you need to talk
too.
3 – Harley links her
arm to Bruce’s.
Harley: Not so fast Brucie. I think we should have a dance.
Bruce: Um okay, Miss-?
4 – Harley looking at
a newspaper article written by Clark Kent.
Harley: Miss Kent.
Bruce: Miss Kent?
Harley: Yep! Pleasure to meet’cha!
5 – Bruce asking
Harley quietly.
Bruce: Superman didn’t send you did he?
Harley: Superman? Ha! Why would Superman send me here?
Bruce: Hmm, no reason.
Page 12
1 – Bruce’s flashback
to a Batman/Superman chat on top of a building.
In Caption: A little while ago.
Batman: I’m having a masked ball at my place and you and
Lois are welcome to come.
Superman: That’s a terrible idea.
2 – Similar to panel
1 but Batman’s eyes wider in surprise.
Batman: Why is it a terrible idea?
Superman: Wayne Manor holds the secret entrance to the
batcave. Anyone could find it.
3 - Batman’s eyes now
more narrow.
Batman: I’ll keep an eye on all of my guests and make sure
no one gets close to the batcave.
Superman: That would be an easy task for me with my super
eyesight but not for you. Bats are blind, remember?
4 – Superman with
thought bubble picturing Harley Quinn sneaking into the batcave.
Superman: Plus, anyone can show up in a mask and pretend to
be someone else. I bet Harley Quinn does.
5 – Batman shaking
off the idea.
Batman: No, Harley is too ditsy to be able to pull a stunt
like that without me knowing. Trust me Kent, it’s my party and I’ll have
everything under control.
Page 13
1 – Harley and Bruce
on the dance floor.
In Caption: Back at the party.
Harley: So Brucie, have you got a girlfriend?
Bruce: Well, almost.
Harley: Almost?
2 – Bruce looking
over at Catwoman. Harley following his vision.
Harley: Wait a minute, you like Selina?
Bruce: Yes.
Harley: Excuse me for a quick sec.
3 – Harley rushes
over to Catwoman.
Harley: You never ever told me you had a thing going on with
Brucie!
Catwoman: I didn’t think it was important.
4 – Harley swooning.
Harley: Aww I’m not gonna stand in the way of true love if
he’s your puddin’.
Catwoman: Please don’t call him that.
5 – Harley directing
Catwoman towards Bruce.
Harley: I can’t marry him now. What kinda friend would that
make me?
6 – Harley pushes
Catwoman into Bruce.
Harley: Now have a good night and I’ll catch ya two later.
7 – Harley passing
Alfred on the way out.
Harley: Hey, you’re not rich are ya?
Alfred: I am afraid not, Miss ‘Kent’.
Harley: Ah well, never hurts to ask.
Page 14
1 – Harley is back in
her classic costume and is on a bench just outside the Wayne Manor gates.
Harley in thought: Well that plan didn’t work. What should I
do now?
2 – A Gotham TV
filming van drives past. A lightbulb over Harley’s head.
Harley in thought: Ooh I know! I’ve got a show stopping
idea.
3 – Harley thinking
back to the good ol’days when she had her own TV show called Heart to Heart
with Harley. (Batman Strikes – Ep. Two of a Kind). This panel shows Harleen
Quinzel chatting to a guest on the TV set’s sofa.
In Caption: When I was just boring Harleen Quinzel, I had my
own talk show where I helped my guests out with their problems.
4 – Harley imagining
herself in Hollywood.
In Caption: Now I am the fun lovin' Harley Quinn imagine what a TV
show I could have! I’ll get paid so much money!
5 – Harley on a
motorbike driving through a ring of fire.
In Caption: I could have a show where I do loads of awesome
stunts and the audience would go wild with applause.
6 – Harley’s imaging
herself as a news reporter, reporting from Arkham Asylum.
In Caption: Or I could be a news reporter! I’ll go all over
Gotham talking to the folks at home about what’s goin’ on in this crazy city.
Page 15
1 – Harley knocking
at the Creeper’s door.
Harley in thought: I know that show business is hard to
break into which is why it’s important to have the right contacts.
2 – The Creeper
answers the door.
Caption pointing to the Creeper: The Creeper, formally known
as Jack Ryder.
Harley: Creeper, baby, I need your help.
The Creeper: Come on in, Harley Quinn!
3 – Inside the
Creeper’s house. Creeper trying to kiss Harley on the cheek but Harley keeping
him at arm’s length.
The Creeper: Finally dumped the Joker and come looking for a
real man?
Harley: Eww no. Stop creepin’, Creeper.
4 – Photo on the wall
of Jack Ryder, reporting.
Harley: You used to be a news reporter right? When you were
Jack Ryder?
Creeper: Yes. Yes I was.
5 – Harley asking the
Creeper a question who is thinking.
Harley: Do you still have any links with the Gotham news
station? I wanna be a reporter like you were.
Creeper: Hmm I can’t say that I do. Plus there’s so many
news reporters like Vicki Vale that there’s no room in this city for another
one.
6 – Harley looking at
the floor sad. Creeper’s got his arm around her.
Harley: Oh.
Creeper: But don’t worry honey, I’ve got another idea. We’ll
do our own hidden camera TV show where we prank people around Gotham.
Page 16
1 – Harley grinning
at the Creeper.
Harley: Ooh I like it!
Creeper: We’ll make everybody laugh and be rolling in money.
It’s a win/win situation.
2 – Harley looking
unsure.
Harley: Hmm I dunno if Mr. J. would want me playin’ around
with the people of Gotham without him though.
Creeper: It’ll be fine. I pinkie promise.
Harley: Okay. I’m on board this crazy train!
3 –The Creeper is
holding a camera and pointing it at Harley who is standing by a fountain in the
Gotham City Park. Harley is holding a little stick of dynamite.
In Caption: Over at Gotham City Park, Harley Quinn and the
Creeper are ready to start filming their new TV show.
Creeper: 3, 2, 1, action!
Harley: Hello Gotham!
4 – Zoom in on
Harley.
Harley: I’m gonna throw this stick of dynamite into this
water fountain and everyone around it will get wet. It’s gonna be a blast.
5 – Similar to panel
4.
Harley: Kiddies, don’t try this at home!
Page 17
1 – Harley throws the
stick of dynamite in the fountain.
SFX: Splash!
2 – The water
fountain explodes and water splashes out everywhere.
SFX: Boom!
3 – Harley and the
Creeper laughing hysterically.
Harley and the Creeper: Hahahahahaha!
4 – The people of
Gotham around the fountain are soaked and very unhappy.
Random person of Gotham: Look its Harley Quinn and the
Creeper.
Random person of Gotham 2: Someone call Batman.
5 – Harley points out
to the Creeper the bat signal in the sky.
Harley: We gotta get outta here fast! B-Man is comin’.
Creeper: This is going to make our comedy a drama.
Page 18
1 – Harley running
through the park, Creeper chasing her with the camera.
Harley: Batman always gets called when I’m havin’ a bit of
fun!
Creeper: Don’t worry, we can out run him.
2 – Batman lands in
front of them.
Batman: Actually, I don’t think you can.
3 – Creeper leaping
at Batman while Harley slips away.
Creeper: I’ll distract him Harley, run!
4 – Batman punches
the Creeper.
SFX: Pow!
5 – Batman
handcuffing the Creeper to a tree.
Batman: Tell me where Harley Quinn has gone.
Creeper: Hahaha I wouldn’t tell you even if I knew! I love
her.
Page 19
1 – Harley running
through the park.
Harley: Where’s Ivy where I need her?
2 – Poison Ivy
emerging from the trees.
Poison Ivy: I’m right here, Harl’. What kind of trouble have
you got yourself into this time?
3 – Harley looking
behind her for Batman.
Harley: Basically Mr. J. sent me out to get some cash…
Ivy: I’m assuming not from an ATM?
4 – Harley talking
straight to Ivy.
Harley: No. So I went to Wayne’s masked ball to try and bag
myself a rich guy but that didn’t work out. So I thought I’d try and make it on
TV as I used to have that talk show, ‘Heart to Heart with Harley’.
Ivy: I remember that.
5 – Harley has made
her fingers into a box shape and has put them in front of her face like a
camera.
Harley: Who doesn’t? Anyway, I went and asked the Creeper
for help an’ we started our own hidden camera prank show but then Batman turned
up and now I’m here talkin’ to you.
Ivy: I see.
Page 20
1 – Harley pleading
with Ivy.
Harley: Can ya help me red, please?
Ivy: I will but on one condition.
2 – Ivy with hands on
her hips.
Harley: Anythin’, I promise.
Ivy: You have to leave the Joker.
3 – Harley in a bit
of a panic.
Harley: My puddin’? I don’t think I can.
Ivy: Then you get left behind for the Batman to find.
4 – Ivy pointing at Batman
who is emerging.
Ivy: Oh look, here he is now.
Harley: Don’t make me do this red.
5 – Batman getting
closer.
Ivy: Batman is getting closer. It’s time for me to go.
Harley: Okay, okay! I’ll come with you!
Page 21
1 – Ivy raising a
giant flower under her and Harley’s feet.
Ivy: Good choice.
2 – Ivy closing the
flower which is high above the ground. Harley waving goodbye to Batman.
Harley: Later loser.
3 – Giant flower
knocks Batman across the park. Harley sticking her tongue out at him.
SFX: Thwak!
Harley: Hahahaha! That teaches you for spoilin’ my fun,
Bats!
4 – Harley and Ivy
leaving the park on top of their giant flower.
SFX: Stomp, stomp, stomp!
Ivy: Smell that, Harl’. Freedom!
5 – Batman back at the
tree where the Creeper is locked up. His costume is a bit muddy.
Creeper: Harley’s such a great gal, isn’t she Bats?
Batman: Grrr.
Page 22
1 – Panel shows the exterior
to Poison Ivy’s greenhouse. A sign reading ‘planet nursery’ is hung up outside.
In Caption: Back at Poison Ivy’s nursery for plants.
2 – Harley watching
the news which is reporting the arrest of the Creeper. Ivy watering a potted
plant.
Harley: Poor Creeper, I feel kinda responsible for his
arrest. I hope he likes it back at Arkham.
Ivy: He’ll be fine. You’ll be over it soon.
3 – Harley looking
sad.
Harley: Yeah.
4 – Ivy coming over
to comfort Harley.
Ivy: Trust me, Harl’. You’re going to love it here.
Harley: I know.
5 – Ivy handing
Harley a watering can.
Ivy: Want to help me out a bit? The plants need watering and
then maybe we can order in some pizza.
Harley: Pizza? Wahoo! Gimme that waterin’ can, red!
6 – Ivy hugging Harley.
Ivy: This is going to be great!
The End.
Let me know what you think in the comments below!
Thanks for reading,
- Ellie :) x
